The Computer Chronicle

Viruses.  Nasty buggers no matter how you slice it.  Stomach, ugh.  Computer, shriek.



I adore my son if I haven't made that clear.  He is the light of my life and in all honesty my world.  He is also the king of all things downloaded.  He even downloaded a fart machine once and I should have been mad but I was laughing too hard.  Short of it...we got a virus.  Not just any old virus.  We caught a super bug that totally fried the computer.  For a few days it wouldn't even turn on and now it just flashes a blue screen.  I was one unhappy momma.  I am however grateful to see the light of it.

I struggle to keep on top of the bills and still make sure Austin has what he needs and he has lunch and running money.  So, how blessed am I that right after tax season we get the virus.  It could have happened right before Christmas and I would have been without a computer for months instead of weeks trying to save up enough to replace it.  Creator also saw fit to help me find a new job (that I love by the way) which will help me make up the money much faster.  I also have no credit cards.  I paid cash for the computer today- I won't live above my means ever again.  It's a terrible feeling to live above your means and the credit card companies are DYING for us to do that.  They make their riches on our stupidity and misfortune.  If I sound harsh please realize I mean OUR misfortune.  I am as guilty as the next guy for using credit cards to live above what I can afford.  Then I took a job at Citibank in customer service/sales.  When I saw what they could do to people legally and started hearing what other banks were doing from the cardholders I paid off my cards (2) and closed them as soon as I could. 

Lessons.  We learn from lessons some so very hard.  I personally am incredibly grateful for the law of abundance, the kindness of Spirit and the knowledge I gained in the most unlikely of circumstances.  I was in two very different positions at two places I hope I never have to have dealings with again. but oh did I learn.  It is amazing what comes from the most unfortunate of experiences if we are open and willing to learn from them.  I will be the first to admit it usually comes afterward becuase in the thick of it we are too upset and/or distracted to learn spiritual lessons at that point.  In my humble opinion I think as long as we learn and apply, even if well after the experience, we are still making the most of it.

So, I raise my Ovaltine to no more harsh lessons (praying), no more stinking computer bugs and many more lessons on living life being love and showing gratitude. 

Light and love

The Dragonfly Days



So today started out with a visit to my wonderful friend and accupuncturist Herb Clark who is amazing.  We had a wonderful accupuncture session followed by a long walk along the canals in Shepherdstown which was as good a therapy for me as the accupuncture.  It's always good to have a kindred spirit to bounce ideas off of PLUS he's a Capricorn so he totally gets me.   So, I told him about the Synchronicity book I have been reading and about how I have been seeing dragonfly images everywhere.  I was sharing how the book tells you to notice and journal them...so, he knows right away why I am seeing them.

The dragonfly symbolizes maturity and depth of character.  It also symbolizes change in the perspective of self realization-that kind of change that has its' source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.   The traditional association of the dragonfly with water also gives rise to the meaning of this amazing insect.  It's scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what's on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life. It can also fly in six different directions and is the only creature that can do so.

Basically it's my graduation from the butterfly stage.  I saw butterflies everywhere last year and the year before...on my walks, on posters, in a song (wink Jason)-everywhere...finally bought a butterfly keychain.  I knew they were part of my metamorphasis getting ready for this year of transition.  Somewhere in the back closet of my mind I knew I read there are different guides for different stages of your journey...I am not sure I was totally understanding that until now.  The dragonfly is with me to guide me as I mature spiritually and mentally and teach me to move from realm to realm and cycle to cycle in any direction with ease.  I am so very grateful...so it get's even better.

When we get back from the walk along the canal we stopped in the shop because he wants me to try an herb he thinks might help with some of my pain issues....not pot-ha!  So, when we get there a good friend of Laura's (she owns the shop) is in from Roanoke doing Tarot readings.  I have never had one and was very excited to try it out though a little fearful.  So, I set up a half hour session and wandered the shop gathering treasures waiting.  I picked up a few stones I wanted and my heart has wanted me to buy more moonstone forever.  Each time I get a bracelet it breaks though so I thought maybe I would try a ring or necklace.  Laura and I chatted and she helped me pick some great stones and next thing you know I'm in the hot seat. 

I was nervous to be honest.  I didn't know what to expect and didn't want any bad news.  So, I sat down with Terri after she smudged and cleared the cards and she had me hold them so they could collect my energy.  They were positively joyous to feel and I could feel the love and energy in them from her and from me- it was powerful.  So, she laid out my cards and the first one came up a wind card- Fear.  I was a believer...right then and there.  I have had lots of fear/anxiety lately and was talking to Herb about it on our walk.  She let me know it's not horror screaming fear, it's just that the cards show I have a lot going on right now and some of it has caused anxiety...cue the new job.  So the cards keep coming.  I get the kharma card reminding me to be humble in my journey and then the 7 tongues comes up.  It's the card that means you can handle many, many things at once and do them well.  She must have seen the look on my face when she turned it over cause to the untrained eye it looked like the mouthy gossip bitch card...she cracked up when I told her how relieved I was!  She said it meant that my fears of not being able to keep up now that I'm back in trucking are WAY off base and I am going to do very, very well there.  My cards were amazing- I got the moon card (remember how I was wanting moonstone) but most importantly I got the card that shows I need to focus more on my path of spirituality because I am correct and the card of protection.  The moon card by the way is mystery, feminine energy and sexuality and feminine power (MEEOOWWW).  So, I'm soaring and crying a little I am so happy and the death card flips over.  Heart stops.  She says, Leah, it symbolizes the end of something major in your life...not a real death persay.  Cue waterworks....the end of the seven year cycle.  At this point I break down and tell her everything...the accident the divorce the BS- all of it and now we're both teary.  She says, now it all makes sense... all these cards make sense to me- I was seeing the pattern but the death card threw me a little until you told me all this- it's over Leah- it's ending.  This is your transition year just like you thought and you're on the right path.  Next card is the Emporer card telling me I will have money, success and happiness again but the kharma card directly across from him reminds me to enjoy it with humility and to raise others up with me.  So, the last card....I am anxious and it's beautiful.  It's the love card.  It's the card with the moonlight spilling into the three chalices.  It's the card that says I have Goddess sister's coming to support me along with my Andi and that it's going to be wonderful.  I held onto Terri for the longest time and thanked her over and over and over for using her gift to help me.  How can you say thank you enough?  So, I told her about the dragon fly thing after we were calming down a bit and she says, "Ask Laura about her dragonfly story-its a good one".  Cue astonishment.

So, I go to my Laura friend and ask her the story and it's amazing.  Her husband was dying of a rare blood disease that hit him with lightning speed.  He went from her healthy husband to ICU in a week- no joke.  She got up one morning to get ready to go back to the ICU (it was May) and decided to have a cup of tea on her deck.  A dragonfly landed on her robe on her heart and she knew right that moment everything would be ok.  So, I told her about Trish's book and how amazing it is and how many dragonflies I have seen lately.  She takes me on the dragonfly tour of the store showing me all the dragonfly things she has and then says, "Wait, I have something I just got that isn't out yet.  It's a MOONSTONE DRAGONFLY RING".  I was so utterly stunned I couldn't speak.  It was so new it wasn't even in inventory and it was breathtaking.  My moonstone and my dragonfly all in one.  I just kept saying how can this be? All we could come up with is sometimes Creator gives you exactly what you need just because.

Wow was I reinforced today.  It's the end of my seven year cycle, I am supposed to be seeing dragonflies, the job was exactly right and EVERYTHING is going to be not only ok, it's going to be better.  I cannot tell you how grateful I am right now to be sharing this with you while I wear my lovely moonstone dragonfly ring.  Believe friends...believe and anything can happen.  I'm here to believe with you, to lift you up when  you are low and to love you no matter what because we're all one Spirit, one Light and one Source.

Namaste

Rebirth and Closure



Painting by Elizabeth Silk entitled "Rebirth"

So, the new job is going amazingly well (knocking wood) and I am adjusting to the commute into the city and the new hours.  I am finally back in my own element and it feels like coming home.  I cannot be thankful enough for this opportunity that I had manifested for so long.  I knew it was right because my prayer was in Creator's time, not mine AND I didn't find the job- it found me- ha! There is so much to learn but I am grateful to gaining more knowledge.  I believe all knowledge is a gift that should be appreciated if only for the fact that someone took their time and love to give it to you.  Doesn't matter if you ever use it.

I AM TIRED THOUGH!  I drive over two hours a day now plus work eight hours.  I come home, might eat, wash my face, brush my teeth and collapse into bed.  I really feel my age now but the ride is so beautiful and I pass thru some really old towns and go thru the mountains so it's just lovely.  I just need to get a rhythm going and settle in.  Everyone there is so nice and helpful and I am just so happy to be there!

On another note, last night my old company called me for an exit interview...two weeks after I left????  So, if I am to follow my life path of love I have to be honest.  I was holding onto some negative energy which is my issue but I was glad to open up to her.  I was brutally honest but polite to her and very factual.  I gave no one sided jaded opinions- I said what happened and how I felt about it.  Since I left four more have gone as well.  It's insane- I have never seen turnover like that.  So, I let her know why and gave input I hope helps anyone else who takes a job at that company.  Worst place I have ever worked hands down.  My positive points are that I met some amazing people I am keeping in touch with AND I got to tell someone how I felt which lifted a burden I didn't realize I was carrying. Now, it's done.  Yet another blessing to be thankful for.

So, forward we go into the Vernal Equinox loving and open and growing every day like the flowers and trees who are waking up.  We have the opportunity for re-birth every single day-how amazing is that? I hope we take it!

Love and light

Nursing home talent show

This morning I open Facebook and this crazy video pops up again...made me laugh right aloud again which I am always grateful for. So, I wanted to add to make sure you rememeber to NEVER stop having fun no matter what, when, who or why. Never lose the "you" that makes you so wonderfully and fearfully made. My spirit sister Andi added the following:

"When I am old I shall wear purple and dance to MJ for my geriatric GF's :) Because I'll probably have a touch of dementia and won't care what you think of me!

For those of you who know me...I'll shall be right next to her but wearing GREEN!!!

Never lose your humor in the face of great challenge. There are so many who love you and will lift you back up to whatever you need to rise to meet. That's the laws of attraction- like folks picking up the vibes you send out and knowing what you feel and sending you love to replace the hurt or fear. Never feel alone- we are all ONE! We are all connected to one great Source and at any time, any place we can enter that stream of well being. It's always there...stick your toe in and and test the "water".

Love and light!

Another Puzzle Piece...



So, I got the job.  I am so stoked!  I needed this and I am so grateful.  I have been on a spiritual journey for some time now.  I'll be on it for the rest of my life for the record.  I have manifested and tried to have faith and PATIENCE which for me is a discipline.  I stopped the prayers that went "Dear God, I want this and that and the other thing" and they became "Source, thank you.  I know there are changes that I would like to see but in YOUR time, never mine again.  I surrender to you that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in the Universe right now" (thanks Tricia Huffman- AMAZING joyologist, Trish and Rob MacGregor and my Andi friend).  I realized that I don't know the plan and by forcing the plan disaster ensues.  I learned in the hardest of lessons, that I wish on noone, but I am grateful for the knowledge.

So, the formal offer came in yesterday and I was too happy to say yes because I knew it was right.  The job came out of nowhere and so I knew there was a force behind it that was so much higher than me.  I am finally going to dig out.  I am going to be ok financially, I am going to be ok physically, I am ensuring I am ok mentally and spiritually and now I can do the things I need/want to do in time.  I wanted to consult with Tricia Huffman who selflessly offers herself as a Joyologist to any and all...by donation in some cases just to be accessible to folks without a golden checkbook, which in this day and age is really unheard of.  I was floored by that- a struggling single mom like me could be touched by her on what I can afford- wow.  So, now, when I get on my feet I can benefit from her expertise which is SUCH a blessing.  I can also afford to pay for my soon to be 16 year old's car insurance when he gets his license which is going to be STEEP.  I just believed it would all happen.  I focused and manifested and believed that ANYTHING is possible, even for me, and, it is.

Belief is where it starts.  The firm belief that if you surrender to the stream of well being that is always available and believe in the goodness of the Universe that in time, all things will work themselves out.  I used to follow this unquestionably and then I lost my way for a time.  I was clouded by the mitote that the chaos sometimes brings and simply got lost.  I am incredibly grateful Creator didnt chalk me up to a lost cause and continued to pursue me and help me find my way again.  I am grateful to those whose hands were sent to guide me along both showing me what I should do and what I should most assuredly NOT do.  The latter I am probably the most thankful to because they are the real teachers in my humble opinion.  It is that which hurts us that leaves an indelible mark on the stream of consciousness. 

So, off we go on a new journey.  I am trying to celebrate with gracious humble gratitude and keep the snarky -bwwaaahhaa you rotten people who were mean to me and are still stuck in that hateful place lady at bay.  She's a fiesty and persistent thing.

Love

Newsworthy?

This morning I got up to several inches of the white fluffy stuff and sighed.  It's so pretty but man is it a bear when you live in the hills.  So, I'll strap on my boots and head into the wild blue in a borrowed four wheel drive to get off the dirt road I am honestly so grateful to live on.  It's a fair trade for the hiking trails just out my front door.

So, I grab some fruit and cottage cheese for breakfast and proceed to check the headlines on MSN.  I don't do much TV so checking in on MSN once daily is how I stay "connected".  I am munching away pondering whatever happened to putting baby food in glass jars and worrying about the possible effects of BPA on our littlest as I am considering when to take my plastics to the recycler in town when the headlines load.  "Quake in New Zealand Kills Dozens" followed by "107 Whales dead on New Zealand Coast".  Munching over.



 Here's what killed me though, the next flash what about Justin freaking Beiber cutting his hair followed by possibly the most horrible looking woman I have ever seen looking like she was going to vaccuum someone into her gaping mouth as she screamed at them- she's some sort of housewives nonsense.  Then, I'm pissed.   I'm actually pissed- REALLY???????  Earth mother is screaming for mercy and we're worried about the locks of some kid who still has peach fuzz???????  Whales are washed up on the beach dead and we care more about some celebrity wedding or a cat with a camera strapped to it's collar.  My God, it's here folks and we're missing it because we only hear what we want to here- it's the true dumbing down of our planet.

I did watch a movie this weekend called 2012-  I do movies sometimes and this one scared me.  It's about December NEXT YEAR when the world ends as we know it.  Talk about Synchronicity- here's the scariest one of all.  Saturday night I read a science report about the tectonic  plates shifting and the gradual movement of what we call home.  2012 is about the sudden heat up of the earth's core and an accelerated plate shift and I happened to catch it Sunday.  It also shows how only the policticians, genetically "optimum" and the super rich get a spot on the arcs that are being built.  Sound familiar- sound like us?  When that movie was over I was shaking and literally sobbing- yes I know it's fiction but I also know it's here.  Maybe not in 2012 but what else do we need?  Hurricane Katrina, Earthquake in Haiti, Extreme flooding and Typhoons in Australia, Tsunami, now even here at home the Skline Drive was on fire this week- that has never happened and it broke my heart.  The Prime Minister of New Zealand said it might be their darkest day...we are going to find out all too soon exactly what that means.

Please, let's do what we can to save ourselves before Earth mother spits us off and heals herself without us.  Even if it's just recycling your plastics, picking up garbage on your walking trails or if you can, buying a car with better emissions.  It's here folks and it's up to us to make a difference.  I'm heading to Waste Management Thursday to see if they will start a more focused recycling program here...what can you do?

Namaste

Synchronicity



Sorry it's been so long but Dad and Austin are full time jobs and I am just to thankful to be busy helping to care for daddy as he recovers!  So, off we go.

My beautiful spirit sister Andi gave me the most amazing book on the teachings of Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  It's all about the laws of attraction- sending out what you want to receive.  It teaches us how to harness our focus to bring about that which we truly desire.  One REALLY important lesson I have learned is that if we worry we attract more of it...so I'm really working on that one.  It also shows how if you focus on lack, lack of the job you want or the right relationship or whatever, you attract the LACK instead of that which you are trying to attract.  We must focus on our goal to believe it into existence NOT wish it into existence.  Powerful book I am working my way through and digesting and will share as we go.

So, being me I am also just finished the Alchemist yet again and started a book on Synchronicity. It's called "The Seven Secrets of Synchronicity" by Trish and Rob MacGregor. They are amazing authors who have penned over sixty fiction and non-fiction books and this one is truly earth shaking for me.  As you get to know me you will also know  I am not sure I am able to read just one book at a time when I get really enthusiastic about a subject.  These are so important to me and I am so excited to share.

(Cue deep breath)...SOOOOO, Carl Jung (great psychologist who studied w/Freud but branched off due to his belief in possibility and Freud's disbelief in anything he couldn't see) coined the phrase "Synchronicity".  It means purposeful coincidences such as losing something that is so important to you that you focus on it and suddenly in a seemingly impossible circumstance you find it.   One story was about Anthony Hopkins who was researching a character and the book he needed was out of print and quite rare.  He really put himself into finding a copy of the book and on his way home one day found a copy on a bench in a main train station in London mislaid by the traveller that was apparently reading it.  To make it more interesting the author of the book was ALSO looking for it.  He had lent it to this person who mislaid it in London where Hopkins picked it up and when the author arrived on the movie set months later to consult with Hopkins he mentioned that he didnt have a copy of his own book.  He also mentioned that he had put many notes in the margin and was quite perturbed at his friend for losing it at which point Hopkins produced the book with all the liner notes and said..."You mean this one"...true story.  So I am ready on and thinking how grateful I am to my mom for giving me the book for my birthday when the author's reference their daughter and how she subscribes to the Law of Attraction theory and studies the works of...you guessed it, Esther and Jerry Hicks and the Law of Abraham.  At this point I am vibrating.  Then they start giving more examples...one in particular was from a man about a performance review at work that was completely unfair and untrue. Unbeknownst to him at the time, it happened because there was another amazing opportunity for him that he didnt know about.  God as my witness it happened to me not two weeks ago and out of the blue I got a call on a job I didn't even know existed that may be an amazing opportunity for me.  In the book they said it was to wake him up to show him that he needed to do something new and prepare him for the opportunity.  I was still licking my wounds and nursing my complete shock (it's the financial industry so nothing surprises me) when the call came in...I had just said to my mom that I was so very hurt and angry about the slighting and whammo- it's because I needed to be ready to be open.  I interviewed last week, the people there I met were amazing and I felt at home the short time I was there, so if the Universe deems it mine I will be once again, grateful.

Reference after reference I kept hitting and with mouth open devoured the text, at times so excited my eyes moved faster than my brain and I had to re-read-ha!!  The strangest was the kick in the head from the Universe to get me to listen when they referenced a session Jung was having with one of his patients.  She kept dreaming of a scarab beetle. The scarab is a sacred symbol in Egypt that symbolizes rebirth and renewal.  Jung was about to tell her how it is a dream of psychological rebirth to prepare her for something knew when something kept tapping into the window behind him.  He opened it to find a beetle hitting the window, a genus they had there that was the closest to the scarab for that area.  I sat there shaking because two weeks ago when all this went down I had the craziest urge to wear my scarab bracelet from Egypt.  It was left to me when my Aunt Win passed and she acquired it on a trip there.  I didn't know when I felt I needed to have it on that it was because I am preparing for a rebirth but I knew I needed Aunt Win with me that day.  I am beyond certain I am on the right path and feeling at peace for the most part though anxious to see what change I am met with.  I also felt VERY drawn to a special journal recently that I got with some points I won at work.  I was stunned to see it on the website where we choose what we would like from the points we earn because it is hand made of recycled materials and right up my alley.  What I didn't know over a month ago when I ordered it is that the book tells me to start a Synchronicity Journal...done!!  I'm just floored, completely floored.  Still not speechless- ha!

On a side note, when I just uploaded the pic of the book I realized there is a butterfly on the cover.  As I have lost the accident weight I have kept the image of the butterfly close as a sort of totem as I go through my own metamorphosis.  I also see literally hundreds of them as I take my walks/hikes through the woods and use them as a judge to know if I should keep going.  If I see them and they dance ahead I forge ahead.  If they abruptly turn back so do I (sounds weird but I live in bear/wild dog/wildcat country).  I felt in my gut I should follow their lead but I decided to test that once and try to do what I wanted instead of following in the signs and ran head long into a roaming Rottweiler who scared the crap out of me... I diverge from course but I'm just saying...know?
So, if you have experienced Synchronicity and would like to share I would LOVE to swap stories with you.  Andi and I are also going to start clearing soon so once we get a rhythm we will share and PLEASE join us if you wish.  In the meantime, be love, be light and BELIEVE!

Love to you!